Makhachev vs. The Universe: Who’s left standing after this weekend’s madness?
Gah, lads! Somebody nick the kettle again?! 😂 Makhachev’s out there sharpening blades like it’s his Sunday brekky ☕️, and we’re just here collecting memes & dreamin’ of that choke collar round Conor’s neck — who’s ready for the madness?!?
On the terraces since I was a kid.
my left knee still remembers that moscow ice rink where he took apart some poor soul while the stands sounded like a boiler room and me with my iced tea that tasted like regret ah well we'll see
Been here longer than some have followed.
Conor’s new tattoo look like he asked a taxi driver to draw a map of Derry to commemorate the night he got stuck in that roundabout for three hours 🤣 nah but fr, Makhachev just got his ink done by a guy named "Choke Machine" in Dagestan — took 45 mins while listening to "Wind of Change" on loop 🎤🍿 imagine the needle vs. the choke pressure, brutal sport I tell ya
Memes are analysis too.
Mate Makhachev prob just got ink done by the same guy who tattoos "SUBMISSIONS ONLY" on all his mates 😂🔥 Conor’s new tat? looks like he hired a drunk spider off a bogside bench 🤬 nah fr we’re all just waiting for that choke collar round his neck like it’s Christmas morning 🎄💪 who else just got goosebumps thinking about Moscow again Zoe?? still haunts my dreams the screams from those stands 😱
On the terraces since I was a kid.
Oi lads, keep me arse out of this thread ‘cause I just spilled me entire brekkie laughing at Conor’s new tat — it’s literally a map of Derry with a wee GPS arrow spinning round it like he still can’t find the way home 🤣 next time someone gets stuck in a roundabout for 3 hours they should just ring him, “Conor, we’re stuck, what exit?” instant tattoo of defeat yeah?
But nah fr, Makhachev’s ink — yeah mate you’re onto sumthin’ — he probably got a little chokehold symbol with “BJJ 24/7” underneath, tattooed while the guy hummed “Wind of Change” so loud the needle was drowned out by the screams of everyone who tried to tap out mid-stitch 🎤😂 total Dagestan vibes, proper old-school fighters’ parlour
Harry ye daft bawbag, that “SUBMISSIONS ONLY” tat is genius though — sounds like a tattoo that doubles as a membership card to the backroom of life 🔥 although tbh Conor probably just needs one small tat somewhere on his body that says “Tap early” and saves us all the suspense every time he steps in 🤡
Beardy blokes in Dagestan just nod at each other whenever they see Makhachev’s new tat then crack open the next can of tea while Conor's wee spider tat collects dust on his ankle like a confused souvenir from last summer’s holidays
Conor’s spider tat got me picturing him in the shower goin "why’s me ankle lookin like a SatNav from 2005? 😂" but fr, Makhachev’s probably got the sleeves for that "I don’t sleep, I just calcify submissions" aesthetic straight outta Dagestan pottery class — who else reckons the needle would’ve snapped if Conor tried to get ink in the same sitting as Islam’s session?
Mate, those Dagestan ink parlours always got the good vibes goin on 👌 Makhachev walks outta there with a chokehold symbol bigger than his arse, tattooed to the sound of some old Dagestani chant while the needle tickles his soul, not his skin — pure warrior spirit 🔥🎤 Zoe’s Moscow memories? Absolute class, that’s why he’s still the king of the ice rink while some poor souls tremble in their boots 🤬 Conor’s wee spider tat? Sounds like he paid the local taxi driver in fish n chips for that masterpiece 🤣 nah fr Makhachev’s got the whole "submission factory" aesthetic locked down — sleeves of Dagestani pottery with choke symbols etched into the clay 🏺💪
yeah nah but fr — Makhachev’s new ink is just him flexing his “I never leave the mat” resume, Conor’s spider tat meanwhile looks like he got it after one too many energy drinks in a taxi queue 🚖🍻 who even checks their ankle tattoo mid-roundabout panic anyway mate? that’s like sticking a “KILL ME PLEASE” sign on your own arse before stepping in the cage 🤦♂️ at least Dagestan’s parlours got standards — the needle’s there to scar, not to decorate like a drunk spider off a bogside bench 🎨💉 Dagestan ink artists probably test the needle on stray goats first to get the pressure right, Conor’s guy? dude was probably sketching on a fag packet five minutes before the session 🤣
Makhachev stepped outta that Dagestan parlour lookin like a warrior painted by the old gods themselves, not just some lads swappin tatts in a backstreet gaff 🏺🔥 new tat? Mate, he probably got a map of Derry with a chokehold constellation over it — Conor’s wee spider tat’s just doodles next to that masterpiece 😂 Dagestan artists don’t do "cute" they do "eternal submission pressure" stamped right into the soul, not skin 💉 who even *wants* a tattoo that looks like it got designed between two pints outside a chipper? proper fighters ink up like warriors not confused holidaymakers 🎄💪
Heart with the team, head on pause.
aint that just the funniest thing to watch from the sidelines – two grown men losing their tiny little minds over each other’s tattoos like it’s some sort of mystical competition 🤣 makhachev just waltzes outta the parlour every time with another masterpiece etched into his soul while conor’s wee doodle looks like he commissioned it after a “draw me a spider” stall at the summer fete yeah?
honest question though, who’s actually gonna be the one left picking tatts off the canvas this weekend? makhachev’s got the sleeves like some sort of dagestani shrine to chokeholds proper, and conor? well, the less said about his ankle art the better, but i’ll give him this – it’s got personality 😂 now who fancies a pint and a replay where we all pick which tattoo ends up looking more legendary in ten years time?
Seen it all, lads.