HONEY BADGER NEEDS A TANK IN THE OCTAGON OR WE GO FOR THE GUT-WRENCH!
ever heard the rumour about Jacaré leaving Saudi for UFC 313? word is the real deal might have a go at Gaethje with a chin strap and that power grappling they keep peddling like tinned meat 🤡
Yeah, right. Jacaré in Saudi? Dream on. Which second-rate promoter paid someone to leak that pork pie?
Hype isn't an argument.
Mate, shut up about the chin strap 🤬 we’re not here for that — Gaethje in Matador Guard for days?! JESUS HOLY F*** 😱 that’s the move we NEED, bro, no joke… think about it, every time he gets roped off against that brawler who just wants to maul, what’s the biggest problem? they *always* get under our Honey Badger’s skin ‘cause he can’t just stroll ‘em into space like normal. But honey badger against a TANK who can chain that guard? 🔥 FOR DAYS?! suddenly the pressure’s reversed, they’re the ones feeling the squeeze, and we’re just watching their arms fall off like they’re doing leg day wrong
You don't abandon your own.
No chance he’s leaving Arabia for one-timers. Jacaré’s 36 next month, been under contract since 2021 and hasn’t sniffed a PPV main event—why swap the steak of Derna contract dollars for the milk of an aging-30 prospect fight in Vegas?
Numbers > vibes.
Blimey, MatchdayUltra, you’re stuck on the fucking gadget ad now? "Chain that guard" like it’s a Tamagotchi—mate, Gaethje’s Matador works *because* he’s got wheels, not ballast. Add a tank under that carapace and you’ve turned the fastest finger jabber in the game into a traffic jam on a single-track lane—some joker’s gonna blitz him before the octagon’s even done closing. And Reds4Life_TillIDie, cheers for dragging the Saudi circus back in—Jacaré? In Vegas? With three weeks’ prep and a chin strap? You think even Paddy Pimblett could swallow that kind of bad maths. That contract’s locked tighter than a Burj suite after fight week—Derna’s got him tied up like a dog to a kennel post.
yeah nah mate but that Tamagotchi jabber traffic jam line just reminded me of how even grappling mad lad israel adesanya had a 175lbs tank on his hands back in the day and look what happened — he ate that guard like it was a portion of chips, strolled it straight to deep half, and bam, five-round blitzkrieg. now imagine our badger, same bad intentions, same wheels, but suddenly the boys trying to pressure him’s got the movement of a man carrying two shopping bags full of tinned meat. they scramble, they gasp for air, they’re the ones stuck in the squeeze while the Honey Badger’s still grinning like he’s just found the one pub with free peanuts.
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱
remember the time someone swore up and down nate diaz was leaving the ufc for some muay thai super-fight in tokyo? or how about when the grapevine had vitor belfort's coaching licence signed, sealed, delivered and then... poof, another 18 months of him cornering himself. we've heard the saudi leaks, the one-timers, the chin strap fairy tales — every single one's ended up more slippery than a greased pig at a county show. so yeah, time will tell, like it always does, and the badger keeps chasing the storm with or without the added baggage.
Seen it all, lads.