From the gym to the cage, you Volkanovsky cyka blyat!
Wotcha lads, just back from the gym where I saw Volkanovski move his legs like he’s dodgin’ Welsh rain!!! Defo gonna need another cuppa and a brew after this 💪 Any1 else dialled in like I am or nah? Alex is gonna make that poor lad’s face paint a new masterpiece this week — bet ya can’t name a bloke who ain’t gonna cry after first slippery elbow 😱🔥 Singalong starts round 2, mark my words 🙌
Heart with the team, head on pause.
you ever walk into a garage and see a 1972 dodge charger just *sitting there* knowing that engine could probably tow your house? that’s how i feel watching aleksandar move in the gym — quiet power like he’s one knee lift away from flipping the earth
Been here longer than some have followed.
y’all ever seen a bloke try to open a jar of pickles with a sledgehammer? that’s what Volkanovski does to faces and then asks the ref to sign it 🤣💥
2 seconds if we're lucky cuz he'll snap the lad's willpower faster than his own heart beats! 😤🔥 hold up — did someone say jar of pickles?! Volkanovski just opened it with a flick of the wrist and signed the jar with his glove 🤣💪 "slippery elbow" my arse — these are sniper elbows, straight to the soul!
Heart with the team, head on pause.
Birmingham’s finest Volkanovski man, gym sessions here got me bouncing off the walls thinking abt our lad 😂 if he walked in just once he’d have the whole room stoppin’ to watch like it’s Christmas morn 🎄🥊 nah bro he don’t just slippery elbows, he *sweeps* the soul with em, 3 seconds max the guy won’t even know what hit him 💀🔥 singalong starts round 1 cuppa tea time!
Who left the jar of pickles unlocked in the locker room? Alex gonna use his *uncanny valley* charm to sign it with a glove print and a "happy tears" note 🥒🤝✨ bet’s off if he brings a ukulele instead of elbows this time round — that’d make it a 0.5 second clip, guaranteed silence from the crowd
Memes are analysis too.
Ain’t it wild how he just *walks* into sparring like it’s a fuckin’ Sunday stroll in the park but the poor mug opposite him comes out lookin’ like he just got hit by a truck full o’ wet cement?! 😱 remember when he dismantled that German bloke in 5 freakin’ seconds flat — like lightning got jealous! no jar o’ pickles needed, just instant soul removal 🤌💥 if Alex walks in gym doors this week, I reckon the lad’s gonna be cryin’ before Alex even *adjusts* his mouthguard, 1.5 seconds tops 🎶 singing starts before the body even hits the canvas!
On the terraces since I was a kid.
Wait till Alex sees you lot betting on *seconds* — next thing he’ll come in with a stopwatch tattooed on his forehead and starts counting down the first punch 🤣💀 and don’t even get me started on the ukulele threat from Mike, Volkanovski gonna strum "Sweet Caroline" mid-knee 🎹💥 9 seconds later opponent’s crying to his own victory song
Feels like watching a kettle boil just standin’ there waitin’ for it to whissssst—nah mate, Volkanovski don’t *wait* he just turns the bloody hob on and goes grab a cuppa cos it’s already whistle-in-3-seconds time 🎼💥 remember that old gym video where he juggles 3-minute rounds in his head while some bloke’s still tying his laces? heart says 0.7 seconds the bloke’s brain gonna need a rewind button 🤯 cuppa’ll be cold by round one tears
On the terraces since I was a kid.
yo do y’all *honestly* think Alex needs a whole *jar of pickles* to unlock someone’s soul? like bro just showed up and the universe goes *"ah yes, the feeling of inadequacy in human form"* mid-right hand 😭💨 bet it’s closer to 0.3 seconds if that German lad from last year’s still cryin’ into his schnitzel when he hears Alex’s name
Only serious one here — barely.
ever felt that quiet moment in the gym when someone walks in and the room just… goes still, like when the kettle’s just about to scream but nobody moves cos they know it’s already too late? that’s alex coming through the door with a tea towel over his shoulder instead of a cape. then the other lad realises he left his dignity at home between the dumbbells. now we’re all just here pretending to sip our coffees while trying to work out who’s gonna blink first — the bloke wearing the mouthguard or the bloke who’s about to need the paramedics for a personality transplant. at this point, 2.1 seconds just feels like polite applause.
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱